Puggles, Promiscuous Gingerbread Men and Garden Snails.

When I was 12 I ran up a bit of a phone bill playing games on the Cartoon Network website, subsequently and to this day, I’ve was banned from using the Internet in my house. It has been a rough road: missing out on internet jokes, not knowing every single detail of the guys life who sat next to me in math class, having to check books out from the library every time I needed to know something (among many other annoyingly inconvenient things).  Basically, I felt like I was living inside a ping pong ball.

The Internet, succinctly described in one picture.

As a kid I devoured National Geographic articles and could rattle on for hours about things like the downfalls of fresh water pearl farming. Now I am sure you can imagine my astonishment when I realised the enormity and implications of the World Wide Web. After that particular discovery family dinners were significantly less quiet. I began to stay late at school, sneaking into the computer lab and googling every question I had ever had (a habit that has not yet died). I also managed to get enough MySpace time in so as not to be a complete social outcast. Internet snobbery was rife in my high school.

Intent on making up for lost time and just like the majority of young Americans who have been forbidden the sweet fermented nectar that we call alcohol until their 21^st birthday (or anyone else who has been deprived of something awesome), I too began to indulge and binge in my new-found digital addiction. The weekends I spent at my boyfriend’s house became the stage for my not so secret love affair with open source information. 

Whether you are a ballet crazed cyber-goth with a penchant for crochet or a prolific business man who enjoys dressing up as Pokémon in your free time,  you will find a little corner of the Internet tailor-made for you. That’s the beauty of the internet; it’s a big place in which countless beautiful and sometimes downright strange communities have taken up residence.

No matter who you are, you will always find a place where you feel you belong on the Internet.

In my eyes the Internet is the closest that we will get to an Anarchist state. Anarchy is not, as many seem to think, a bunch of punks getting drunk and fucking shit up just for the lolz and because they can. Anarchy is an example of left wing ideology; it is a social movement that refers to a society without a publically enforced government or violently enforced political authority. The fact that there is no governance (or a distinct lack of enforced policing), while great, comes with immense responsibility. It’s a bit like the Wild West; while exciting, ungoverned and interesting, there are also metaphorical gunslingers intent on harm and misdirection so one must always keep their wits about them.

An upgrade from the old South African adage of "If it's in the You, it must be true". DON'T BE THIS PERSON. Question everything.

While there are actual laws concerning the internet, one can easily dodge any repercussions if you happen to be in violation of them- providing that you have the right skill sets. Aside from these there are also the commonly accepted 'laws' of the Internet which  are less like actual rules and more like Internet truths. The most prolific of these internet 'laws' is rule 34: If it exists, there is porn of it. No exceptions. This law was penned after the author came across Calvin and Hobbes inspired smut which savagely attacked his childhood memories.The list of laws has been created by the public and features many insightful and hilarious rules, guidelines and truths. Some of these have fascinating and almost scientific origins which I plan on writing about in upcoming posts.

A prime example of the infamous Rule 34.

We joke, we cringe and we stand in awe of the unbridled creativity of the hive mind. Where else would we learn about how creepy and gross the baby Echidna is? Or find out that people in Japan are paying exorbitant amounts of money ($240 to be exact!) to get garden snails shipped in from South Africa so that they can imbue their miraculous anti-aging properties on the buyers by leaving goo trails on their faces? You can also download colouring in books tailor-made for the Goth community, find videos showing you the explicit details concerning home bikini waxing and marvel at the extremely depressing, yet still thankfully quite underground, movement of people erecting artistic and involved memorials for road kill.

A baby Echidna is called a Puggle. In my opinion, the cuteness of the name does not match up to the sack of (ball?)skin you see above.

Amidst all the fun facts and lolcats there is also a strong presence of activists, whistle-blowers and educators who wouldn’t exist in the public eye without this incredible platform with which to spread their message. Add to the fact that it gives aspiring and accomplished musicians, artists and writers a place to showcase their work for the whole world to see and you will understand why I hold the internet in such high regard.

It is for these reasons, and a couple thousand more, that I have picked the Internet and what I have learned from it for my new blog topic. I want to delve into the nooks and crannies of the web and bring to light the awesome, and sometimes awful, happenings that may not have revealed themselves to you yet.